I need 20 ccs of courage, stat.
I thought I was getting to the point where I can re-conquer the panic: basically, anger. It may be a largely negative emotion, but it's at least constructive. People make better decisions when they're angry. But apparently I'm not quite there yet. I've spent all weekend in my room, a slave to the agoraphobia, and while I'm tired of it, I'm also... strangely willing to let it control me.
Why am I so afraid of changing, even when I'm miserable as I am now? It's not because I'm comfortable, I know that. There's nothing comfortable about that. It could be the attention, I guess, but the one thing I crave most is independence and the ability to be alone. I just want to be normal again.
I need help to get there, but I'm not sure where to get that help. I'm already in therapy and on medication. What more can anyone do for me? What more can I do?
Where's that injection?
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Smile when your heart is breaking.
Posted by Em at 2:42 PM
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Have someone give you a dose of tough love as opposed to catering to you and your irrational psychological issues and allowing them to control your life? (I say irrational because I know how true it is after having dealt with many of them myself over the past 7 years).
Well here you go!
Post a Comment